Damn It, Not Again! (Ashton)

Autumn had been having a wonderful dream, she was walking around with Damon, hand in hand...and they were talking about life after school. It was absolutely wonderful, but just as quickly as it had come it had disappeared. And she found herself asleep in the Library. Damn it! She had done it again! With her chemo treatments happening so regularly now she couldn't help where she fell asleep. Sometimes she would just pass out in class. Her teachers all knew of her predicament so they were extremely understanding of it, but the students around her did not understand and she had begged the teachers not to tell them of her cancer. However it did not stop them from questioning her on it, and Autumn would just walk away and shrug them off.

How was she supposed to make friends if they kept annoying the bloody Hell out of her? Maybe it would be better if she didn't have any friends at all...and she was already trying to distance herself from Damon again...and it sucked! She was in love with him, but if she was at risk of dying she did not want him getting hurt. Wiping the sweat from her forehead and the sleep from her eyes she began gathering up her books and getting ready for the long walk up to the Ravenclaw Tower. She had a bed open for her at the Hospital Wing, but Autumn did not want to stay down there...she wanted to sleep in her own bed.

But there was a little problem...she wasn't sure she could carry her books all the way upstairs. She felt so weak and shaky, and she had been asleep for so long she had slept through supper. She wasn't hungry, but she knew enough to know that she needed food to keep her strength up...what was she going to do?! She was stranded.

Sitting down in a huff she closed her eyes once more and buried her face into her sweater.

"Not again..." she whispered.

Autumn

Ashton had been doing his homework in the library after dinner and looked up once to clear his mind briefly when he'd gotten stuck on one subject and needed to start on another. He spotted Autumn Paige across the library from him and saw that she was asleep. Again. Ashton tilted his head to the side and thought about what could be making her sleep so much. He didn't feel it was his place to ask her questions that she might not want to answer, and he decided that he wasn't going to do it.

Something about what had been going on with her seemed a bit familiar, but he just couldn't place it. He just couldn't figure out what or where he'd heard, but he knew that he would think of it eventually. Possibly.

He gave up on his homework for a bit and started on the papers that he'd been given to read for his training at St. Mungo's. He was going to be tested on this at the end of the week, and had been putting it off for a few days to get caught up on his classwork. He'd been falling a bit behind again with his homework, and while his Professors were understanding about his training and him also being a Prefect, they were only able to give him so many extensions. And he'd reached the end with the assignments that he was doing now, but he had more time for them than he had with his training assignment.

He looked up when he heard a sound from the other side of the room and saw that Autumn was awake now, and became more concerned when he saw her lay down her head into her sweater again. She'd gathered her books together and it appeared that she had been about to leave, but hadn't really made it too far.

Ashton started to put his things away in his bag. He was going to offer to walk her back to Ravenclaw tower. She was obviously not feeling well. He grabbed his training notebook, but knocked the papers that he'd been told to read to the floor in the process. He sighed and started picking them up, and something caught his eye.

He read through the paper quickly and looked over at Autumn. She had so many of the same symptoms. Tiredness, shaky, excessive sleeping...... His eyes widened in alarm. Could it be true?

He put the papers into his bag and stood, crossing over to her and gently shaking her awake.

"Autumn? Come on. I'm going to help you to Ravenclaw House."

Ashton

Autumn looked up with a start and blushed, she hadn't realized that Ashton Michaels had been in the room with her and she was honestly a bit nervous about going with him. She didn't want him to know what was wrong with her, and with him training at St. Mungo's she knew that he would. It seemed that the more she tried to hide it from people the more obvious she was...but she didn't know how to stop it. Sighing she looked down at her bruised hands. They were clearer now... every time she looked it seemed that she had a new cut or bruise. The cuts were the worst, they never stopped bleeding. If she got a paper cut she had to stop everything to make sure she did not bleed out!

Looking up at Ashton again she leaned back into her chair and shivered. She was cold, but that was nothing new. Taking her sweatshirt she pulled it over her head and wrapped herself up in it. She was tired, cold, and didn't feel well at all...and she knew that if she tried to eat anything to gain some strength she would just throw up from the nausea. She would normally argue with Ashton, yell at him, swear at him...but right now she just decided that taking his help would be a good idea.

With a shaky hand she handed him her bag and stood weakly by his side. She was so tired, all she wanted to do was sleep and never wake up again. And she was sure that once she got into bed she wouldn't be too far from doing just that. She could not wait to get all the way up to the Common Room.

"Thank you..." she whispered, faintly.

Ashton took Autumn's bag with a nod and smal smile. He was more than certain then he'd been from across the library that the Ravenclaw was sick. There were bruises on her, and he thought of what he'd read as he was packing his bag. It was another symptom from the list that he'd been given. Another sign that Autumn was seriously ill. He still didn't want to intrude and ask her if she thought it would be too nosy, but he wondered if he were right about her suspected illness.

He took her arm and led her out of the library, turning toward Ravenclaw House. Ash knew where each house was from being a Prefect, it was sort of a prerequisite. A bit difficult to know if someone was skulking around just outside their common room, waiting for a friend, enemy or significant other, or if they were seriously out of bounds when it was after hours when you didn't know where each house was situated.

They reached the corridor to the Ravenclaw dormitories and Ashton stopped for a moment, sitting on a bench and patting the seat next to him. He didn't want to be a pain, but he just needed to verify if he were identifying her symptoms correctly. He tried to think of a tactful way of asking her without seeming to be overly nosy, but he didn't know how to do it. Everything that he came up with just made it sound like he was being a busybody. Finally with a sigh, he decided to just come out with it.

"Autumn, I don't mean to be rude and nosy, but I was given a sheet of paper from my instructor at St. Mungo's, and I was noticing that you are fitting more than just a few of the symptoms. Am I correct in thinking that you are sick? Very sick?"

Autumn sighed, she had to know that was coming...but she didn't see Ashton going around the school telling every person he knew that she had Leukemia, and she supposed it would be a good way for Autumn to make a new friend. Looking away from him she nodded and sighed.

"Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia..."

It sometimes seemed that was all she needed to say and everyone else could conclude what they wanted to from it. But it sure did make this next part awkward. The next part was what the person said afterwards, or if they chose to say anything at all. She was so scared of how people would react, of how they would look at her. She hated looking weak, but she supposed she was. She hadn't been able to get up the her common room on her own, or carry her bags...and she had to have someone do it for her.

"Thanks for helping me," she sighed. "You didn't have too."

No, he didn't...he actually could have left her down there to suffer but he didn't. People were constantly proving her wrong now and it just made her more and more depressed. Mostly because she had been far too ignorant to even notice.

While the announcement had hit Asthon like a brick, he hid it well. Autumn more then likely didn't want pity, but to be treated like everyone else, as much as she possibly could be. He would do just that, as it had been part of his training, as well as the fact that he was not allowed to discuss a patient's treatment or medical history with anyone. He didn't have any intention of telling anyone anyway, since it was Autumn's business, not his. If she wanted someone to talk to, he'd be there, but he'd not be telling about her illness to everyone that he met in the corridors.

He looked at her face and saw that she had the strength to beat this, even if she didn't know it herself. She was more than likely going through very strong treatments and it was wreaking havoc on her, making her tired, weak, and from what he'd read, taking away her appetite entirely. But he knew that she could use a friend to help her realize her strength. The strength that was going to get her out of danger and make her feel better again.

"Autumn, you don't have to worry about me telling anyone. I'm not going to do that. I have never seen the reason in spreading rumors about people, true or not, and have never found anyone that I would want to say something about. But if you don't mind me asking, how are your treatments going?"

Autumn shrugged, the treatments were nothing special. She was sure that Ashton knew what chemo did to someone. It really sucked, she was always sick and her hair was starting to thin. She owed Sirius Black a lot for the hair potions he was sending to her, but she was always so shy to ask him for more when she ran out. Sighing she leaned back into the wall and looked up at the ceiling. She wanted to answer this without seeming like a blunt bitch; but really how did Ashton think treatments were going? She had only just started them and it wasn't like her cancer was going to just disappear over night.

"They are...what I expected them to be." she sighed.

That was all she could come up with. She didn't want to go into too much detail how the nausea prevented her from eating half the time. Or how at supper she had to resist vomiting all over her classmates. She just didn't want to think about it. But when it came to times when it literally made her immobile or so ill she could not do anything...then she had to acknowledge it. Most of the time Autumn was quite content in the fact that she could ignore it.

"It's a pain in the ass, quite frankly...and I can't wait for this to be over." Autumn continued.

The only thing that was worse than the cancer treatments was that she had to do them all on her own. She didn't have anyone there to hold her hair back while she threw up, she didn't have anyone to hold her hand while she slept, she had no parents that cared enough that she was dying. And she supposed that was what made this such a burden. Autumn would have accepted death willingly if someone would have just been there to help her through it.

Ashton's mind started running wild. Autumn seemed that she was lonely, and needed a friend to see her through this. He was doing his training at St. Mungo's most of the afternoons and evenings, when he wasn't on Prefect duty. He only had that one day of the week, his training four of the other six days. Tonight was one of his free nights, and he was glad of that since it had let him see what was going on with the girl sitting next to him. He wondered what she would say if he offered to come and see her during his breaks. He could do that, without a problem. If she wanted him to come visit her, that was.

"Autumn, would you like me to come visit you sometime when you are in for your treatments? It's not to be pushy or anything like that, I just thought that you might like somone to sit with you, and talk with. I know from personal experience that being in the hospital is rather boring and depressing when you don't have someone to visit."

He didn't mention that the reasons for him being in the hospital were because of his own problem, which he didn't know if she had any knowledge of. He didn't hide it, but he didn't go out of his way to tell people about it, either. His last visit had ended happily for him since he'd met his surrogate sister, Gabby. He didn't know what he'd do without her.

"If you want me to visit you, just let me know when your next tratment is, OK?"

Autumn felt her cheeks turn a faint twinge of pink. She knew that Ashton was just trying to be nice, but it still made her feel strange. She wouldn't mind him coming to visit her, he didn't even need to ask...but giving him permission felt like she was opening up too much. She didn't want to make friends just to lose them. But she knew that she would regret her life more if she didn't have any friends when death did come.

"I would like that Ashton..." she said weakly. "Can you help me into the common room? I'll give you the password..."

Autumn trusted Ashton to not do anything bad, and with his father being a teacher she was pretty sure that he wouldn't try anything too risky. Closing her eyes briefly she pulled herself up onto her two feet and steadied herself against the wall. If they didn't get her into the common room now she would pass out and wouldn't move until th next morning.

Ashton didn't know what to think of this idea. A Slytherin in Ravenclaw's house? He was sure that the Head of the house would certainly not like that. But how could he tell Autumn no? And then he was certainly going to be hearing it from his father and Sierra. Why was he in the dorm of another girl when he'd just gotten back with his girlfriend recently.

Then he thought of the fact that she needed a friend and someone to help her. She was obviously exhausted and needed help to get to her room. But how was he to do that? He knew from personal experience that he'd not be able to get into the girls' dorms. Boys weren't allowed there, even though girls could get into the boys' dorms. Personally, he'd never understood that. Seemed quite contradictory to him. But, he was only a student, and didn't have the place to be questioning the Four Founders of Hogwarts.

He stood and helped Autumn to remain upright. He was going to do this, whether he got a detention for it or not. She was the important thing here. Not what was going to be said, or what he thought. Autumn needed his friendship and he was going to give it more than willingly.

"All right. I'll help you into the house, but I don't see how I'm going to be able to get you to your dorm and into bed. Boys aren't allowed." He smiled faintly at her as he said this.

Autumn nodded weakly and began walking a head of him. She wasn't so weak that she couldn't continue walking on her own. She just needed help with the stairs. She knew a charm that would make it so that Ashton could climb the stairs without sliding back down on his ass. It wouldn't take long, and she really only needed him to help her for a couple more minutes. Maybe if she was lucky she would catch another female Ravenclaw that could help her upstairs.

Taking another step she stopped for a moment and closed her eyes. She was starting to feel sick again, and Autumn knew that whenever that happened it was typically crippling. She would find herself in the hospital wing for the whole night and more than half of the next day. Depending on how long the sick feeling lasted.

Sitting down on the ground by the portrait hole she leaned into the wall and closed her eyes. She needed to get to bed...or somewhere where she could lay down, be sick, and not be bothered by her other classmates. She wished Damon was there...he could have helped her. But then he would have asked questions and he still did not know that she had cancer. Autumn was too afraid to tell him. She knew that he didn't love her yet, at least she didn't think he did. So maybe that meant there was time for her to coax him out of love with her.

But in a way Autumn wanted to be selfish and have him love her. Mostly because she wanted to love him too. Closing her eyes she released a shaky breath and tried to snuggle deeper into the fabric of her hoodie for warmth.

Ashton lingered by the bench while Autumn started to the doorway to her House. He didn't want to overhear the password and then it have to be changed because this one had been compromised. He watched as she moved to the door and then sat on the ground in front of it. He moved over to her and helped her stand up a moment later, and after taking one look at her, he knew that she needed to be where she could get a decent amount of sleep, without having to worry about anyone waking her up, and making it difficult for her to recover her strength enough to deal with her illness.

He lifted her into his arms and turned away from the door and started off down the fortunately deserted corridor. He carried her through the halls, one destination in mind. She needed to be in the Hospital Wing, even if it were only for the night. He'd bring her her school books if she felt up to working, but he thought that from how tired she looked, she'd sleep throughout the night, and probably through the next day as well.

He reached the doors to the Hospital Wing and pushed them open, laying her on a bed far from the door and tucking the blankets around her after removing her shoes.

"Now, I'll stay with you if you want me to, or if you want me to leave, just say so?"

Autumn looked up at Ashton surprised at first when he just lifted her from the ground and carried her to the hospital wing. But she did not fight it or yell at him. She needed to be carried, she felt so horrible that nothing would make it better...of course she knew that there were some medicines she could take; but she was sure that it wouldn't make a difference. She would still throw up every hour, and sleep unbelievably long hours during the day. Some things didn't have an easy remedy and cancer was one of them.

Closing her eyes against the cool pillow on the bed Ashton had set her on she shivered under the blankets and sighed with relief. She was so comfortable at the present moment that she was sure she would fall asleep in the next minute or so. She hoped that Ashton didn't mind her being so quiet, but she was just so exhausted. She would wake up soon...the only thing that made her sad was that when she did wake was that she would be all alone.

"T-Thank you..." she whispered, her eyes falling close. "You...you can stay...if...if you wanna......"

Snuggling down into the blankets she gently buried her face in her pillow and began to fall asleep. It felt so good to be able to lay down and relax...she just hoped that Ashton would be comfortable as well. It wasn't fair that she was so cozy in her bed and he was forced to sit in a hard, uncomfortable, chair.