The Sky in Your Eyes (Jocelyn)

Evan sighed, sitting on Jocelyn's porch as he waited for her to get ready. He had a whole day planned for the two of them and he was very excited to get it all set. He had planned on a romantic day at the London eye and with it being warm now it was perfect timing. They would get on the top of the ferris wheel at exactly seven thirty. Then from there fireworks would go off, including a magical set that he had paid the Weasley twins to make for him. When they reached the top the fireworks would explode and in big beautiful letters it would declare his love for Jocie. She would never have to question it again, because it would be right there for her in glittering letters.

Now if only she could hurry the Hell up so they could leave! He would be absolutely heartbroken if she missed this, something he had worked so very hard on. He would forever be hurt, forever labeled as the dumb-ass boyfriend, forever known as the idiot that couldn't get his fucking girl to hurry the Hell up!

Leaning into the step of her front porch he sighed once more. He didn't want to go in there and rush her, but if she didn't move faster he would soon lose his mind and be forced to call the whole night off. Sighing he turned towards the door and as if the heavens had answered his prayers the front door opened.

"Well," he grinned. "Just when I thought you had stood me up."

Jocelyn could NOT find her damn shoes! This day had to be perfect and it was already starting out horribly! And Evan would no doubt lecture her on how she was always late. And if he did that, she would kick his ass, because the only reason she was late was because she wanted to look good for him! And then, of course, she would have to kiss him until he couldn't breathe because she could not resist those eyes for long.

She nearly tripped on her feet as she ran downstairs and gave her mum a quick kiss on the cheek before promising that she would be home by one and have her cell phone on at all times. She opened the door and smiled at him, rolling her eyes slightly.

“You are not to make another comment, Evan Winter. I wouldn't have been able to go with you if I didn't find the perfect shoes.”

She moved over to him, but tripped once more on her way, falling into his arms. She laughed and looked into his eyes.

“Hey, there.”

Jocie

Evan held her in his arms briefly before bending forward a bit and pressing his lips to her forehead. He loved this girl so much, and if he could he would take her away to a hidden island and keep her there forever. However, with Gareth just recently moving out on his own he knew that his parents would flip. His mother would literally kill him and God only knew how Cambria would react. He still wasn't sure how she was handling Gareth not being around.

"I kinda like this position," he smiled.

Gently lifting her to her feet he took her hand and began walking with her. Today was going to go off without a hitch. His sister was NOT going to ruin this date, his brother was preoccupied with his own girl, and his father was busy at the school. Today was going to be just about them and if anyone dared to interrupt he would cut them.

"Did you hear?" he smiled. "That Gar and Samara are engaged now?"

There weren't that many people that knew. Gareth had made him promise to keep it a secret...however Evan had begged Gar to keep his intoxication secret and Merlin knew that did not last.

"They have their own place in London and everything."

Jocelyn smiled half-heartedly at Evan's news. She was happy for Evan's brother, she really was. But she was highly prone to jealousy. And she felt she had every right to just be with Evan and get a place with him in London. But she was a year too young. And in the eyes of the law, that was a no no. She would have gladly run away with him too if she had not wanted her internship at St. Mungo's so badly. She actually hadn't told her boyfriend that little bit of news yet. She only hoped he would not get upset that she would has less free time.

"Well, good for them. I think that's nice. But now you're screwed, Mr. Winter. Just so you know, I expect a ring and an apartment right when we graduate," she smiled. She stopped him from walking and just cuddled against his body for a moment. Her mum wasn't overly concerned about physical affection, which was a very good thing, as Jocelyn loved showing her affection to Evan as much as possible.

"God, I wish we could do that now. I wish we could get married, or move in together. Or, you know...have sex. Speaking of sex...when can we do that? I want to do it as soon as possible. Just so we're on the same page."

She smiled up at him and stood up on her toes to kiss his lips for a long, lingering kiss there. She loved him so much, and she wanted him more than any woman had ever wanted any man. No matter what, she knew it to be true.

Evan smiled against the kiss, but pulled away when a random group of people tried to push past them. Evan could hear them muttering and rolled his eyes. He knew that would happen, PDA was frowned up nowadays. However he just took Jocie's hand and continued to walk. Sex...that was actually something he was not as eager for as she was. After their last attempt and fail he decided that he was alright with waiting. Besides he wanted it to be perfect, and if they had it at his house it wouldn't be perfect. So they would wait.

"Not for a while," he said gently. "I want out first time to be as special as possible...so I think that means waiting."

And on another note, his father would murder him. Literally murder him...with a bat, hammer, or some other creative method of causing death. And if he died then Jocie wouldn't have sex...ever...unless she was into that necrophiliac type of thing. Which he knew for a fact she wasn't.

"Besides," he said gently. "At least we can say we have the self control to wait. I just want to be ready for it Jocelyn, and I want our first time to be the most beautiful thing in the world...your virginity is something special...I don't want to ruin the image you hold of your first time...does that make sense?"

Jocelyn sighed and nodded. She knew he was being a gentleman, and she was grateful for that. But she tended to think that no matter when they finally did it, it would be very special because they loved each other. And apparently Gareth had not waited, and Cambria was on track for not waiting. So why did she have to be the one to wait? Part of her thought that maybe it was because Evan thought she would be a disappointment when compared to his ex-girlfriend. But she would never voice that concern, because she knew it would hurt his feelings, or spark a fight...or both.

"It makes sense, Evan. I just want you so badly, and nobody in this whole school saves themselves. I just feel so...boring."

She rested her head against his shoulder as they walked. Her fingers felt good entwined with his and she had to admit that she was quite happy with the way that they were now. To be honest, she didn't really need sex to make her happy. She wanted it, but it was not a deal breaker. Someday they would, and it would be incredible and perfect and everything that they had always hoped for. And for now, the early stuff would have to be enough.

"Hey, I have some news," she said, brightening. "I got that internship I was telling you about a few weeks ago. I get to go to the hospital and actually intern with a healer. Isn't that awesome? I mean, it will be a lot of extra time away, but I think it will be worth it. What do you think?"

Evan nodded and smiled at Jocelyn. He was happy that she was working towards her future...it would make it all the more easier for when he told her that he planned on becoming a muggle school teacher like his father. Evan liked the wizarding world, he really did...but with all the bull-shit that was happening right then and there he could not help but want some simplicity in his life. He knew of the Death Eaters that had attacked at the Quidditch World Cup. It was only a matter of time before those complications arouse at a more cosmic level.

"That's great babe," he grinned. "I've been thinking about what I want to do as well...I was thinking of following my dad's footsteps...become a teacher, you know?"

He would leave out the muggle part for now...but later he knew that it would have to be said. Fortunately he was sure that she would not ask about it right then and there...which was good because he wanted to focus on the no sex thing as well.

"Why is it boring?" he asked. "I mean...I think it's kind of good. What if we had sex and then broke up...like...you know...I just want us to wait Jocie because I don't want you to regret sleeping with me or anything."

Jocelyn turned to him with questioning eyes, a hint of anger in them. Was it anger? No, not really that strong. It was more suspicion? Annoyance? Well, whatever it was she needed to get it out or she would bottle up all her feelings and explode at him later. That had happened a few times during their friendship, before they had ever gotten together. And it was not a pretty sight.

"What do you mean, what if we break up? Are you questioning my loyalty, or yours? Evan, I thought you knew that me saying 'I love you' meant forever. And I assumed it meant the same to you. We are never breaking up. I know you inside and out, and I feel like you know me just as well. No matter what we come across, we are going to do it together. So that cannot be a reason, you got it?"

She felt her heart racing a little and she didn't really know why. It was like there was this tension between them, but she couldn't pinpoint where exactly it had come from. She started walking again, giving herself a little more space. Maybe she was pms-ing, or maybe she was jealous that Gareth and Samara were now living in their perfect little world. But hadn't she loved Evan for just as long, if not longer? Why did they get their romance interrupted by his little sister for every planned date, why could they not get an apartment in London together? Merlin, she felt like a three-year-old with all these self-involved questions. But didn't anybody get it? Sometimes it was okay to want things to be about you for a little while. Especially when you were young and in love.

In spite of herself, Jocelyn felt tears in her eyes and she rounded on her boyfriend.

"Maybe I think we don't have enough, okay? Not enough time, not enough touches...I want our love to be like the fairytale too, Evan. Tell me how we can do that, because I can't do it on my own."

Evan glared, why was it that every girl he came in contact with this week was so self involved! He was starting to get pissed, and what had supposed to be a romantic day had turned into shit! Now he just wanted to go home and hide in his room! He hated that Jocelyn was turning this into something it wasn't! God he didn't want sex! Was that too hard to fucking understand?! Maybe he wanted a relationship that was built on more than just fucking sucking face and touching! That was what this trip was about! But all she wanted to do was make out with him and have sex! That was all she brought up! Sex, sex, sex! And just because Gareth and his finace were doing it did not mean he wanted to follow his lead!

"You know what," he sighed. "I'm suddenly not feeling good...maybe I should just take you home."

He knew that this would just spark another fight. But he wasn't going to talk to her when she was like this. A fairytale? That shit didn't exist! He wanted to be real with her and have a love all their own! Not a love like his stupid brother!

"This wasn't supposed to be about sex! It wasn't supposed to be about YOU feeling jealous of my brother and his fucking girlfriend! I brought YOU here so we could make our OWN romantic love story! Do you compare me to everyone else, Jocelyn?! Is that what you do?! Because to me that's what it sounds like!"

His glare intensified.

"You compare me to every couple that has this PERFECT little relationship! Or appears to! Well this is who I am! I'm not a hopeless romantic like my brother, I'm pretty much clueless to what girls want, and you know what else?!" he roared.

"I'm not a dog like every other guy you have walked past! I don't want you for sex! I want you for you! Your my best friend...I didn't think us dating would change us so much! Answer me this...when you look at me...is sex the only thing you think about?"

He felt tears come to his eyes.

"Because that is the last thing I think about with you...I think about a beautiful girl that I have no business being with, about a friend that I could tell everything too, the last thing I thought about when I looked at you was screwing you..."

He sighed and turned away.

"I'll walk you home if you like...or you can apparate...or leave me...whichever you choose."

Jocelyn felt her heart breaking within her chest. It had been so long since she had gotten Evan angry about anything...she had forgotten how biting he could be. Her chin quivered and she leaned back against the building that was behind her. Maybe they had been better off as friends, maybe he was right. She loved him with all of her heart. But was it wrong for her to want him in every way? He made her feel like some sex-crazed maniac, when really she just wanted to make love to the man she had given her heart to.

"Evan..." she began in a soft voice. "I do not have to have sex with you. I didn't know that you felt so strongly against it. You've been my best friend for five years now...I love you enough to drop it, okay?"

She wiped her cheeks and took his hand softly in hers.

"And another thing..haven't you learned that I'm the jealous type? Yes, it's one of my weaknesses. I compare myself to others, and I understand more than anyone that I need to stop. But I don't want to leave you. And I hope you don't want to leave me. Lets just talk it out like we used to do. This isn't the first time we've been in a fight, Evan Winter. And I'm not willing to give up on you and me."

Evan sighed, of course this argument would end like that. But he really wasn't in the mood to argue anymore. However, it was going to have to stop...the comparing the relationship to other people. It meant that she had things to compare...meaning that he wasn't doing a good enough job...meaning that he also didn't know what else to do. He supposed he would just have to accept it, but it would be hard. Evan didn't like being compared to other people. He had been compared to Gar...compared to his father...and now his girlfriend was comparing him to couples that he didn't even know.

"I don't want to talk about it anymore." he sighed. "Let's just forget about it and try and salvage what we can of this date, okay?"

He knew that once he got home he would probably get grounded. He was going to want to take his anger out on someone, and his main target was always his father. He would snap, his father would snap, and he would end up grounded for a couple of weeks. it was a vicious cycle that he had to endure...but it was usually his fault regardless.

Jocelyn frowned further and started to walk toward their destination again. She didn't bother to take his hand. She didn't like when he became all morose and negative. She had said she was willing to drop the subject of sex, but apparently he didn't care that she had given in on that point. What was the big deal with wanting to talk about their fight and try to fix things, rather than gloss right over them? They would just have to deal with it later when the subject came up again.

She sighed and turned slightly to him, looking to see if he was walking with her. She would just start in on a new subject and hope the rest of their day would be argument free.

"So Gareth and Samara are doing well. And Cambria? Is she still upset about breaking up with Saber? I'm glad your parents don't make you break up with me. I doubt I would actually stay away from you. I'd probably be snogging you every chance I got."

That made her think that Evan's sister was probably doing exactly that. But Jocie didn't care. Cambria would do what she wanted, regardless of the consequences. She knew Evan would not like that, but he would end up leaving her to make her own mistakes. She thought about what he would be like as a parent and the thought made her laugh out loud. She decided to reach back and take his hand anyway.

"Are you going to be like your dad someday? If you are cursed with a little Cambria of your own? I'm guessing when we get married and have children, you'll want all boys. It's a shame, really. I remember you saying how close you two used to be."  

Evan paused and had to think...he actually had a feeling that as he got older he would calm down. His father let Cam get away with murder...he had a feeling that he would have a better handling of his children. Maybe if he gave his child a little more leave way she would not have a need to disobey him so much. However he was sure that would not be the case either. So he shrugged.

"I don't know," he said gently. "Maybe there is a chance I might be a little bit like him...but hopefully our daughter takes from your side of the family. At least then she'll be more calm and sweet."

Squeezing her hand gently they continued down the London Street. His eyes looked up a bit and he was pleased to find a clear blue sky today. Just like his Jocie's eyes. Smiling at the thought he looked back at her and kissed her cheek.

"What would our daughter's name be?" he asked sweetly. "Something cute...like her mummy's name, eh?"

Jocelyn blushed and smiled widely. He always had a way about making her feel like such a princess. Even after they had just gotten in a fight, she found him to have such a quiet charm about him. And the way he spoke of their future family made her light on her feet. It was as if she was floating along next to him. Just the thought of him being the daddy for her children someday was incredible to her.

"Is my name so cute? I always thought it was somewhat pretentious. Anyway, we don't have to worry about choosing names. I've had them picked out since I was a child."

She smiled and winked, hoping to convey that of course he would be able to have some say in the names of their children. But she would at least tell him what she had been thinking.

"Depending on how many we have, of course...for the girls, there's Shayla, or Raelin, or Kaie. I love that last one. And then for the boys, Drystan and Joseff, after you. Those are the more unique names I thought of. But we could always go with something more common, if you like. As you can see, I've thought about our future a lot."

She squeezed his hand as they walked closer, and then she thought about what he had said about their children taking after her.

"My word, Evan. I hope all of our children don't take after me. They'd all be so quiet and boring. At least your family has some fire in you. Mine is so...small. It's just me and Mum, now," she frowned. It had been three years since her father had passed away. And it seemed that she missed him at such random times. Maybe it was because Evan had been there for her when her dad died. She would die if the same thing happened to her beloved. She would not lose him for anything.

Evan felt the hairs on the back of his neck stiffen, he could sense that she was upset now. And he supposed he would be too if he had lost his father at such a young age. Stroking the top of her hand with his thumb he looked up to see a large ferris wheel. He hoped Jocie didn't have a fear of heights, he heard that Gar had taken Sam up into this metal contraption and she had actually puked...Evan didn't fancy being all that high up either, but the pods were different than being on a broom...he didn't mind them nearly as much.

"We should have come when it was dark," he smiled. "It would have been far more romantic, I would have had a better shot at wooing you."

Holding her arm in his own he moved them to the London Eye and helped her on. It was pretty much empty, but that was not a problem in his book. He knew that there were times when the line to this thing would stretch out as far as they eye could see.

"Not scared of heights, are you love?" he winked. "Don't worry, I'll protect you."

Jocelyn held on tight to her boyfriend as the doors to the pod closed. She didn't think that she was scared of heights, but it wouldn't hurt to play up this moment a little. She wrapped her arms around him and nestled her face against his strong chest. And of course, she was trying to hide her smile the whole time.

"Oh Evan, hold me. I am so scared," she said, with only a hint of dramatics. Then she looked up into his eyes and winked at him.

She still remembered the first day she had seen him. She really had been scared that time. She didn't have any siblings to tell her what was going to happen at Hogwarts, and she didn't have any friends that were going. But she had met Evan, and then they had been lucky enough to be sorted into the same house. And then, she remembered the first time she had thought of him as more than a friend. She supposed it had actually been coming on gradually. But as soon as he had started dating April, Jocelyn had realized that she was jealous.

It took quite a while after that for the two of them to finally admit their feelings for one another. But Jocie had known from the beginning that it was meant to be between them. She just didn't know she knew. She smiled up at him and kissed his cheek.

"You don't have to worry about wooing me, Ev. You've already done that. So even if you don't want me, you're kindof stuck with me."

Evan rolled his eyes at his girlfriends dramatic acting and poked her sides a bit. Holding her hand he moved her to a private pod and "accidentally" pulled the door close so that they were the only ones there. Pulling her to a seat he pulled her so that she was on his lap and sighed. He knew that she "claimed" to be wooed by him, but Evan could not help but feel that he did not do Jocie justice. He wished that she would realize that too.

"So," he said gently. "Tell me more about your internship at St. Mungo's...have you picked your healer? April's dad's a healer, but he's a real prick so you might want to watch out for him...her Uncle Randall is supposed to be the nicest guy there...maybe you should intern under him?"

He wanted to sound as supportive as he could, because he really did want Jocie to reach for the stars. He wanted her to go above and beyond to get what she wanted in life because he knew that his love deserved nothing less than the cosmos served on a silver platter for her to enjoy.

"I'm thinking of becoming a teacher like my dad, just don't tell him, okay?" he sighed. "I don't want to give him the satisfaction."

Jocelyn felt content sitting on Evan's lap, and she nestled her head against his chest. She gently rested the palm of her hand against his and then began softly running her finger nails across the skin of his hands. God, she loved him so much. She prayed that he believed her, because she meant it with all of her heart. If he was ever taken from her, she would have no further reason to live. She listened to him speak as she looked out at the view of the city. The higher she went, the more speechless she became. It was breathtaking and she couldn't believe she was lucky enough to be here with the love of her life.

"I haven't really thought about a healer yet, to be honest," she said as she moved her fingernails gently up his forearm.

"I'm not even sure if they will let me choose for myself. But I'm definitely staying away from Healer Showers. And I've heard Healer Valari is a major douche as well. Maybe Healer Marks would be the best option. I'm nervous either way. This internship could turn me off to the healing career entirely. And then everything I've ever dreamt about will be a waste. Except you, of course. And you know I'll be happy with whatever you choose to do in life."

She sighed and moved her fingers along his chest and up to his face, stroking his cheek softly. She sat up so she could look into his eyes and she softly pressed her lips to his.

"Hey, what do you mean you don't want to give your father the satisfaction? Don't you want him to be happy? I think he would be so proud of you, Evan. Is everything alright at home? Is he being a dick or something? Come to think of it, it's been a while since I've heard you talk about your family. I'm guessing that's not a good sign."

Evan sighed and turned away from Jocie for a moment. Things at home sucked... and he had many reasons why...just none that he wanted to share with anyone at the moment. And it wasn't that he didn't trust Jocie, quite the contrary he trusted her more than he trusted anyone in the world...but this was just something that he was trying to ignore. He just wanted to let it go and never ever look back at it. And sure it was causing him to become more bitter and angry around the house, but he didn't care...and it was clear that his father didn't care either.

"It doesn't matter Jocie," he said with a weak smile. "I have you and that's all the family I need."

He knew that his father would have kicked him in the balls if he had said something like that to him...but it was true. So far Jocie was the only person that did not judge him. She was the only one that didn't throw tantrums around him to piss him off, or bloody try and get him to spend time with his siblings when it was clear he didn't want to, she didn't make him change...his family did though...they wanted him to be something he wasn't whereas his Jocie took him imperfections and all.

"I just...I just don't want to talk about them love," he said, his voice becoming choked with sobs. "Okay?"

Jocelyn looked up, pained and confused because she knew her beloved was hurting, but she didn't understand what had happened. He sounded so negative about his family life. Was this her fault? Had she come between them? Because she knew that a few months ago, before they had officially gotten together, everything had seemed fine. Was she just blind?

"Evan...honey, of course we can drop it if you want. But...but you seem so lost, babe. Are you sure I can't help you through it?"

She stared into his eyes, the ones that she knew he had gotten from his father. Was it really so bad that he felt he no longer belonged to his family? The thought made her heart want to break. Her father had died just three years before, and even though things had not been perfect for them, she would give anything to have him back for just one day. She didn't want Evan to have any regrets if something were to happen to anyone in his family.

"I mean, I would be happy to be called your family. I would call you whatever you want me to call you, as long as we're together. And someday I hope to actually be your family. I want to be your wife someday, Evan Winter. And we'll have sweet, quiet children who always listen to us, and they never argue. And you'll work at a nice, muggle school...and I'll be a healer. And everything will be as it should."

She sat up and kissed him again, deepening her hold on him as if he would disappear at any moment.