Waxing Gibbous (Open to Anyone)

Snape.

Sirius should have known. One would think the man could show a little discretion. How could anyone be so colossally stupid as to bring Remus wolfsbane potion in front of a student? Sirius had to wonder how anyone that idiotic could even work out how to get himself dressed in the morning, much less be the headmaster of Hogwarts. Sirius still couldn't understand that logic behind that decision. Anyone would have made a better headmaster. Well, there wasn't much to be done about it now. All Sirius could do was try to minimize the damage if he could... and somehow resist the urge to punch Snivellus right in his overlarge nose.

Sirius wasn't sure how to go about minimizing the damage. While he often played fast and loose with the truth, he was uncomfortable with outright lies. That wasn't always so. When he was young, he would often spin impressive yarns for parents and teachers to get himself and his friends out of trouble. And it nearly always worked. Now, however, he had no desire to do such a thing. His relationship with Truth was much more complicated these days. The Truth had been his lifeline all those years in Azkaban. After losing everything that was important to him - everything and everyone he loved - because of a lie, he had no desire to withhold the truth. Of course, that didn't mean he couldn't bend it.

"You know, sometimes all the evidence points toward a certain conclusion, but that doesn't make the conclusion correct," Sirius said. "You'll want to be careful about jumping to conclusions. Innocent people get hurt that way." There. That ought to do it. Everything he'd said was perfectly true, and in the current context seemed to say that Remus wasn't a werewolf without actually saying that Remus wasn't a werewolf. Sirius kept his face blank, though he longed to paste on a self-assured smirk. Sometimes he was so good he impressed himself.

"So anyway," Sirius continued, hoping to change the subject quickly so Ava wouldn't press much harder about Remus. "It's still your turn to ask a question, or had you forgotten?"

Ava looked up at her Professor, knowing that he was not being completely truthful. Now it was his turn to doge painful questions...she knew that her past Professor was a werewolf, the evidence was just too great to ignore. And the fact that he got so defensive just added to her theory. However she didn't say anymore on the subject and she did as he instructed and tried to think of another question. Only, not many came to mind. She really didn't know what else to ask him. As hard as it was to believe Ava did not find Professor Black to be all that interesting. Every other girl at the school thought he was this...mystery... personally she didn't take him as that kind of person at all.

"I don't know sir," she said gently. "What's your favorite color."

Smirking she leaned more into him, resting her head on his arm. She knew that she shouldn't, but she was so tired...and her Professor was so sturdy and his arm smelled nice. So she just sort of lagged on against him, her eyes closing a bit as they continued. The farther they went the tireder she became. Merlin, she really needed sleep. Her Professor had not been kidding when he said that she was going to be exhausted, but it didn't make her life it anymore.

"Mine's red...and don't let that go to your head...I just like it because of my hair." sticking her tongue out playfully she smiled and yawned. "Oh, wait...can I cancel my question? I have a better one."

It was another random question, but she didn't care...she was so tired and she did not feel good...surely her Professor could humor her a bit more.

"Okay...so my father and I went shopping in muggle London the other day, and we bought my little brother a box of crayons shipped from America...crayola I believe...anyway...they have tons of colors to make pictures pretty and what not. So...my question for you is, if you had to eat any color out of the crayola crayon box, what color would it be and why?"

Oh dear. Sirius never would grow used to students flirting with him. It always made him terribly uncomfortable. He'd been quite the ladies' man once, but he didn't really think of such things anymore.

He wished Ava would take her head off his arm. He nudged her a few times, hoping to inspire her to do so. When they came out of the tunnel, he'd have to come up with some other way to get her to the castle. Carrying her certainly wasn't going to work. They'd be the talk of the castle by breakfast. Perhaps a disillusionment charm... He'd have killed for James' invisibility cloak. That thing saved the Marauders' arses more times than Sirius could count.

"Well, for the record, my favorite color is yellow because it's a very cheerful sort of color. It always makes me happy to see yellow things.

"As for what color crayon I'd eat, I suppose I'd have to choose green, because it would look the most disgusting stuck in my teeth. Now back to you. You said you were bitten the summer before your fifth year. What year are you in now?"

Ava always felt that these questions were extremely awkward...she knew that it was bad form to just ignore these questions...but she couldn't help but want to. It was none of her teacher's business as to when she changed...however she had not told anyone, not even her best friend Parker knew. And for Parker not to know that meant it was serious. She always wanted to hide things from him, mostly because she did not want him to see her weaknesses...Parker brought out a strength in her that other people just never could.

"I'm a sixth year, sir..." she whispered, looking away and out towards another area in the grounds.

It was only know that Ava realized how long of a walk they had to go. Merlin, she just did not want to continue. It wasn't that Ava was fed up with life anymore, it was the fact that she was exhausted and all she wanted to do was collapse and sleep the rest of her life away.

"I guess you could say...I'm still a light weight to the changes..." she sighed. "But I know better...it's something no one ever gets accustomed to...no one could possibly get "used" to this kind of pain."

Sirius stopped short. To be honest, he had expected that answer. She'd said she was bitten the summer before her fifth year, which implied that she was no longer a fifth year, although Sirius was holding out a little hope that she was playing with semantics to make herself seem older than she was. He remembered doing things like that when he was younger. He'd say things like "in the autumn of my fourth year..." when he was in the spring of his fourth year. He wasn't lying, technically, but whomever he was talking to would always assume that that meant he was a fifth year at least.

He used other tricks as well. The day after his thirteenth birthday, he tried to convince McGonagall that she shouldn't punish him for something he'd done two days ago because, as he put it, "I was only twelve when that happened. Would you want someone to punish you for something you did when you were only twelve?" McGonagall surprised him by laughing. She still gave him detention, but he felt awfully accomplished at being able to make her laugh.

Sirius knew quite well that students liked to make themselves seem older than they were, as though aging were some sort of accomplishment. He hoped that that was what Ava was doing. Making herself seem older, because if this was her first transformation at Hogwarts, he could understand why she had thought she could do it alone. But to find out she'd been a werewolf for a whole year... that was disconcerting. A year was plenty of time to realize how dangerous it was. What had she been doing for a whole year? Why had no one ever noticed she was going it alone? Why didn't Snape and her parents make some sort of plan for her and stick to it? Honestly, this went beyond ignorance or thoughtlessness and into downright recklessness.

Sirius' temper surged. He pulled her around to face him, keeping his hands on her shoulders to support her. When he was younger, he used to think it terribly unfair when people scolded him while he was hurt. After all, wasn't the fact that he'd hurt himself doing some foolish something punishment enough? McGonagall and his parents never seemed to think so. But Sirius suddenly understood. This girl had no appreciation whatsoever for the danger she was putting herself and others in just so she could play hero or martyr or whatever it was she was playing at.

Sirius knew that transforming wasn't as awful as it once was. The wolfsbane potion made it bearable, Remus said. But it had to be brewed meticulously. One mistake, and it wouldn't work. It also had to be taken regularly. One missed dose and the beast would come loose. Even Remus, who was one of the most thoughtful and careful people Sirius knew, had missed a dose last summer, and it very nearly cost Harry and his friends their lives. And even with the potion quelling the wolf, the process was still dangerous. Sirius' temper surged a little bit more.

"You're telling me you've been a werewolf for an entire year and you still don't know better than to get help when you need it? What would have happened if I hadn't heard you this morning? What would have happened if someone had happened upon you? Merlin's beard, Spencer! What do you think you're playing at? What have you been doing for an entire year?"

Sirius made up his mind in a heartbeat. Unless the next words out of her mouth managed to convince him otherwise, they would be marching straight to the headmaster's office, and she would be explaining to Snape why she thought endangering her life and the lives of her classmates was a good idea. Compassion was one thing, but this was ridiculous.

"Well, young lady," Sirius demanded. "What do you have to say for yourself?"

Ava thought they had been making great strides, that they were getting closer and closer to the school and with the light conversation she was slowly forgetting about her painful disposition...but then her Professor whipped her around and started scolding her! She didn't know how to react, or what had brought it on! And then he told her...tears filled her eyes at being reprimanded so suddenly, for something she had not considered to be wrong. Swallowing hard so that a sob would not leave her diaphragm she began to stutter.

"I...I..."

Her dark eyes swelled with tears that rolled down her face in thin torrents of salty moisture. Her Professor seemed so different now, now that he was yelling at her she felt like she was going to crumble into a heap. And what was worse was she had no idea how to answer him. It was the first time she had ever actually been afraid or intimidated by a teacher that wasn't Professor Snape or Professor Maddox.

"I...ummm..." she swallowed. "For...for the year...I...I was just...I...I don't know sir..."

Which wasn't true...she did know...Ava just couldn't be put on the spot like that so suddenly about her illness. She didn't know what to say. Everything seemed like it was the wrong answer. Her family knew, but they thought that Aiden was attending to her at the school. Her reasons for keeping it to herself were not to cause anyone else harm...she just did not want to inconvenience anyone.

"Can...can I think...about the question first?" she sniffled, sending a fresh torrent of tears down her face.

She just needed to think. Ava needed time to think of an answer before she gave one. It wasn't to formulate a lie or anything of that nature, it was more or less to gather the facts together and then come up with a proper reason for her self care when it came to transformation.

"What do you mean, can you think about the question first? What is there to think about? It's a straightforward question. What have you been doing with yourself for an entire year? Do you not understand how dangerous transformations can be? You could be hurt, Spencer. You could even be killed if you're not careful! This isn't a game, young lady! You can't just run around without some sort of plan."

He wished she would stop crying. Why did girls always cry when they were in trouble? You'd never catch a boy trying that. It wasn't like crying about it was going to help anything, anyway. It didn't change what she had done.

Sirius had a sudden urge to shake her, though he managed to resist. He wanted to force her to see reason. To make her understand. What if something had gone wrong? What if she'd attacked someone? Given someone else her curse? Didn't she know what the ministry would do to her if she attacked a person? They wouldn't care that she was young. They wouldn't care that it was an accident. She'd spend the rest of her life in Azkaban, and there would be no escaping for her. She would never see her family again. She would never see her friends again. No one would help her. No one would heal her after she transformed. She'd be all alone, in agony, with only the dementors and the terrified screams of the other prisoners for company. And no amount of crying would bring her old life back. Tears stung his own eyes. Tears of anger. Tears of loss. He blinked them away.

Perhaps she didn't know, though Sirius couldn't see how. He took a deep breath and spoke again. His voice was soft now, and deadly, forced out through gritted teeth. "Do you have any idea what the ministry would do to you if you attacked someone because you didn't take proper precautions? They would send you to Azkaban for the rest of your life, and no one would be able to help you. Have you any idea what Azkaban is like, Ava?"

The tears reappeared and he willed them gone again, but not before one managed to escape. He let go of her shoulder long enough to swipe it away, hoping that perhaps the low light of their wands had kept her from seeing. Sirius had never been much of a crier, even when he was young, but the memories overwhelmed him sometimes. He closed his eyes for the few seconds it took to compose himself. Teachers were not supposed to lose their composure in front of students, though Sirius had seen it happen once or twice. Usually because he and James had driven them to the breaking point.

When he was sure he could continue, he turned his attentions back to Ava, ready to hear her response.

Ava found herself sobbing harder a her Professor continued with his lecture. It wasn't that she wasn't scared of him anymore, more or less just because she had been scared of being judged. She did not want people knowing, did not want their pity, did not want that on her conscious. Ava wanted to be independent, she did not want to burden other people with her problems. She knew that she needed help, but she had no one that had time to help her. Everyone had their own lives and here was Ava...just holding them all back. Here was Ava that could ruin all of their lives, here was Ava...the fury, murderous, freak.

"I...you...you just don't understand!" she sobbed. "You don't know! You don't know what it is like! And how DARE you even try to?! You don't know what I went through, go through, or what your friend goes through! You can't even imagine!"

She pulled away from him, her body shaking with frustration and sobs.

"I am so sick of you ALL giving me your input on how to take care of my life! I know the risks, I know the repercussions! So stop bloody preaching to me!" Ava roared. "I have NO answers for you! NONE! I DON'T TRUST ANYONE with this but ME!"

Taking a shaking step from him she was relieved and slightly shocked that her body maintained against her weight. Taking another step she began to walk away from him, and made her way towards the Black Lake, anywhere was better than near those that would condemn her.

Circles. Sirius thought they were making some sort of headway, but they were just going around in circles.

He balled his hands into shaky fists as his temper went. He had always had a very long fuse, though it exploded spectacularly when lit. Luckily, he was good at recognizing the signs of imminent explosion and secluding himself. The Marauders always knew to leave him alone when he told them to, and then they would kindly pretend not to notice his - and sometimes their - broken belongings when it was safe to return to the dormitory. Sirius closed his eyes and counted to ten. Then he counted again. He could take as long as he needed, really. She wouldn't get far. Even now, only a few steps would close the gap between him.

He was tempted to stun her and be done with it, though he was quite sure stunning students was frowned upon. No one had ever stunned him anyway, though in all fairness, he never walked away from a professor in the middle of a lecture, and he certainly never shouted at one. He'd jump through fiery hoops to keep from being caught in the first place, or to convince the professor to let him off. But once he was caught and the punishing began, he always meekly took whatever they saw fit to dish out. It never even would have occurred to him to do otherwise.

Sirius took in a gulp of sweet air, feeling his anger dissipate slowly. Despite the spectacle of his explosions when he couldn't keep his temper, the moment always passed quickly. He'd never been one to stay angry or hold grudges. Only Snape and his parents had ever managed to goad him enough to get him to do that.

Sirius marched forward and grabbed Ava's arm - the uninjured one. He stuck a warning finger in her face. "Do not presume to tell me what I can and can't imagine, Spencer. You've no idea what I've been through for my friend. Now, I've already warned you once about your attitude, and I don't want to have to do it again. I know you're hurt, but that's no excuse to speak to me that way. That's no excuse to speak to anyone that way, and if you do it again, I can promise you the most miserable detention you've ever had. I'm trying to help you here, and as far as I can see I'm the only one who is, so I would suggest you drop your attitude and level with me before I decide I've had enough of this and send for the headmaster. See what he thinks about you putting yourself and all your classmates in danger."

Sirius exhaled loudly as he let go of her arm. He ran a hand through his hair. That may have been the part of this that worried him the most. Being self-sacrificing was one thing. Willfully putting the entire student body - including all her friends - in danger because she was too proud to ask for help was something completely different. He knew that there were werewolves who didn't care about the safety of others. There were even a few who campaigned to bite people on purpose - and the younger the better. He couldn't be sure, but he didn't think Ava was one of those. So far as he could tell, she was just thoughtless, not malicious. Although in this case, it came to the same thing.

He'd been spoiled by Remus, perhaps. Remus was always concerned with others' safety. He wanted to do everything he could to ensure that no one else ever had to suffer like he did. He even tried to talk the Marauders out of becoming animagi - as though they ever would have foregone such an adventure - because he feared for their safety. Sirius wished Remus were here now. Perhaps he could talk some sense into this girl.

"Did you ever think of that, Miss Spencer? By doing this alone, by not taking the proper precautions, you're not only putting yourself in danger, but everyone around you as well. All your classmates. All your friends. How would you feel if a friend decided to follow you one day and ended up bitten? What then? This isn't just about you. This is about making sure others don't end up with a share of this curse, and you don't end up suffering even more than you are now. And I know it's horrible. And I know it's miserable. And I know it's not fair. But that's just how it is.

"When I first found out about my friend, I used to rage about the injustice of it. He was a kind person, and he never did anything wrong, and yet he was cursed with this awful thing. There were even a few times I wished I could take his place, so he could be free of it, but it doesn't work that way. So now you have two choices. You can get angry and turn inward and refuse help and infect others, because ultimately if you choose not to be safe, that's what you're choosing. Or you can choose to deal with it. To accept that it's horrible, and it's unjust, and there's nothing you can do about that but make the best of it and protect the people around you as best you can.

"Those are your choices. Will you protect others so that they don't have to suffer as you have, or will you endanger others and force them to share in your curse against their will? By choosing to go it alone, by choosing to ignore safety and weigh the risks, you're choosing the latter, whether you mean to or not. And you can't choose that and remain at Hogwarts. So, moment of truth, Spencer, what's it going to be? How are we going to get you the help you need? Who are we going to turn to?"

Ava glared at him and remained silent. She was not going to say another word, she was not going to give him the satisfaction to know that she had been backed into a wall. She would never get him to understand what she was feeling, and even if he said that he did he didn't. His friend understood, sure, and because he was able to watch him go through that he thought he had this great bout of wisdom placed on his head. Well Ava would not let him win, even if that meant she lost...she was not going to let him win. She would rather leave Hogwarts forever, leave the UK forever, than let Sirius Black control her. Teacher or not he assumed that there were people that were willing to help her. Her father was never home, her mother was a busy Healer at St. Mungo's, and her Uncle Aiden had three daughters and two twins on the way.

"Then who the do you suppose will help me?" she snarled. "Hmm? Who do YOU think is willing to save me from myself? Well...I'm waiting Professor. Astound me with your wisdom...give me the answers that have been evading me for so long."

She crossed her arms over her chest and cringed a bit in pain. Clearly another scar had found its way on her body. Ignoring it she glared up at him, challenging him to choose someone.

"Well? Do you have a name of a person that knows as much about my species as you do? Are you going to be the one that has to beg a Healer to watch me every full moon? Are you the one that has any of this responsibility placed on your shoulders? Are you the one that has to really care? No...just as I thought."

She paused to take a breath.

"You assume that I know millions of people that could help me, don't you? You find yourself thinking that I have friends as you did in school that would watch out for me...well...I don't. I don't have really anyone that probably gives a bloody damn when it comes to me. And those who do, or have...do not have the experience to help me. So Professor Black I have no answer for you. I don't know what to do or who can help...so you might as well take me to Snape. Looks like he's the one who'll be collecting me from now on, huh?"

Sirius was suddenly exhausted. He'd had it. He'd had all he was going to take.

"You listen to me, young lady. You are not as alone as you think you are. I'm here. The rest of the staff is here. Any one of us would bend over backward to help you if you asked. That's what we're here for. That's what we do. Help students just like you with their problems. And you know what? When my friend came to Hogwarts, he was every bit as alone as you think you are, except that he was only a first year. And I never heard him whinging or complaining or feeling sorry for himself.

"My friends and I didn't find out about his condition until the end of our second year, so for two whole years, he thought he had no one, but you know what he did? He asked for help, and he got it. The headmaster helped him. His head of house helped him. The school healer helped him. He had everything he needed because he wasn't too proud to ask for it.

"And then, when we did find out, he was afraid that we'd abandon him. He was afraid we wouldn't want to be friends with a "monster" as you so articulately put it. But we did, because we cared about him, and you don't abandon people you care about in their hour of need. He didn't think he could count on us, just like you don't think you can count on anyone, but we were right there the whole time. All he had to do was tell us what he needed. He wasn't alone at all. He only thought he was. None of us are ever truly alone. It's simply a matter of finding the right people to help you. It's about finding people whose hearts are big enough to overlook our faults and love us anyway. There are people here who will help you. Loads of them. All you have to do is let them.

"But no, I get it. I do. I couldn't possibly understand you, could I? After all, what would I know about suffering? What would I know about injustice? What would I know about feeling cursed and abandoned and alone? So fine, you want to go to Snape so badly, let's go. Shall we continue to walk there, or shall I just summon him and save time?"

Ava rolled her eyes as her Professor ranted on and on about his friend. Well it may have skipped his notice, but she was not his old friend. His old friend may have had the trust to go to other people, may have believed in help, may have been kinder and sweeter than her...but that was not HIM. Her Professor didn't see her for her, he saw a girl that was in the situation his FRIEND had been in. So he wanted her to handle it the way his FRIEND had! Everyone ALWAYS compared her to someone else! This was her fucking curse! Why couldn't people ask AVA how she was going to handle it. Rather then telling her how she should handle it, who else had handled it...why was she always compared to other people...even to people she had yet to meet!

Help was something she would never be able to accept, she would never be able to accept help without feeling that something was owed. She supposed that that was just how she looked at life now. She had never been able to get anything without something else being needed. People were not willing to do anything that did not benefit them in the long run. Her life was ruined no matter what she did. She could never have a family for fear of hurting them, she could never have children for fear of infecting them, she could never have a husband for fear of killing him.

Whereas this man in front of her, no matter how old, seemed to have a chance at all of that. Sure, he had been in prison...but he was free of it now. The memories, maybe not, but in spirit, in body, he was free. Ava would never be free...she was doomed to deal with this curse forever...doomed. How could he possibly understand that? He had his freedom, had his job, she was sure that he had his own family as well.

"Fine," she snarled. "You're right...I'm wrong...are you bloody happy now? You've won. So, what are you going to do with me now? Because I still do not know who to go to."

If anything she was giving up because she was just starting to feel ill. They would have been to the castle by now if she had not caused them to back track and her body was starting to force her to regret this decision.

Sirius sighed. He seemed to be doing that a lot today, and he hadn't even had breakfast yet. Being shouted at by a surly teenager was not his idea of a good start to the day. And bringing Snape into the mix surely wouldn't make it any better, though Sirius couldn't see much way around that. Not at this point, anyway. Sirius sighed again. No good deed goes unpunished. Thank God he didn't have to teach after this. He'd probably have gone mental if he did.

Sirius shook his head to punctuate yet another sigh. He was starting to think she was doing this on purpose. Trying to wear him down or something so he'd give up and leave her here, or give her what she wanted just to get her to shut up. Well, that wasn't going to work. Mr. Potter once said Sirius could get into a fight with a brick wall and win. He had stubborn down to a fine art, and was damn proud of it.

"Spencer, how many times am I going to have to tell you that I'm not trying to win? I'm trying to help you! But you have to bloody let me, instead of giving me a load of bollocks about how you have no one! I've just given you a list of people who will help. All you have to do is pick one! Honestly! Are you always this obtuse?"

"Obtuse really?" she scoffed. "Is that the best you could do...Professor you are insulting me. I have heard much better than that."

Rolling here yes, a habit she found she had picked up quite quickly since her teacher and her became acquainted she crossed her arms over her chest once more. What did he want her to do?! Choose a complete stranger?! She had picked! She had picked him and he rejected her because he did not know what to do, who was she supposed to pick when none of them clearly knew what to do either. In what world does a Hogwarts teacher need to know how to treat a werewolf, not the one that she was currently living in.

"And you know what," she snapped. "Maybe I bloody like being this obtuse, I find it to be one of my more favorable attributes."

She still didn't know who to pick, or who to pick. How does one just go up to a person and say, "Hey, can you clean me up after I go through a transformation from a human to a snarling beast?". Did her Professor find himself humorous by suggesting such a thing.

"I don't know who you want me to pick," she continued. "I HAD already picked and was rejected...so, say the names again and I'll just repeat one back to you at random."

She wasn't joking, this was how it was going to have to go. She would pick a name from any person he could present to her...if he could think of any names to say.

"Well? You said you had a list of people? Go on...say all of their names and I will pick someone...my memory is a bit fuzzy on the ones you had presented before."

Sirius once again had to resist the urge to grab Ava and shake her. He never would have thought he'd have an urge to shake a student, though he never really thought he'd be meeting one this obnoxious, either. Now he was sure of it, he had never been this impossible as a teenager. Never, not in a million years, would he have spoken to a professor like this. Not even the ones he didn't like. He might have said a hundred thousand awful things about them behind their backs, but never to their faces. He had that much respect for the position, at least, even when he had no respect for the people who held it. Of course, in his case, there was also the highly unpleasant possibility of having to explain himself to McGonagall. Or Dumbledore. Or his father. That may have inspired him to keep a civil tongue in his head when he was otherwise disinclined to do so.

"Congratulations, Miss Spencer. You have just found the end of my patience. You'll be spending next Saturday afternoon polishing telescopes in detention. And I would suggest you curb your attitude, or you'll be spending the Saturday after that with me as well, and the one after that, and the one after that, and as many more after that as it takes for you to remember the proper way to speak to your professors. And for the record, I didn't reject you. I told you I am not able to do what you're asking. I'm still happy to help you however I can. Only I can't do it alone. There's no shame in admitting that, you know. There's nothing in the world wrong with asking for help when you need it.

"As for your list, there's your head of house. That's the person I'd go to, if it were me. And speaking as a head of house, I can tell you that if you were a Gryffindor, I'd want to know about this, so I could personally make sure you're safe. There's professor Snape. I know he's not the friendliest person, and his personal hygiene leaves something to be desired, but I'm quite sure he'd help you. There's the school healer. There's the charms professor. Nearly all the healing spells are charms. The Defense Professor might even be able to help you, though that's less sure. My friend mostly relied on the healer, though the headmaster and our head of house knew as well. No one else did. No one else needed to. Honestly, it isn't as though I'm suggesting you just go up to people willy nilly and announce that you're a werewolf. Snape would probably arrange everything for you, if you asked. Your head of house as well. Professors aren't just here to look pretty, you know. We're actually a fairly intelligent and relatively skilled bunch of people. Now, we've wasted enough time here arguing. You still need to get to a healer. Let's go."

Sirius put an arm around her once again and began leading her toward the willow. He was starting to think they'd never get there.

Ava remained silent as they continued walking, the only noises coming from her whimpers as they walked and a particular nasty cut in her leg twinged every once in a while. She wasn't going to say anymore, because she already knew that it was pointless. Continuing with him through the ground she closed her eyes and began relying on her less injured leg to walk.

She wished they could stop for a minute, just so she could inspect the cut and see the proper reason for the agony she was in...however her Professor was too stern for her liking at the present moment. She was not comfortable with confiding in him that she was experiencing some discomfort while they walked. So she bit her lower lip, chewing on it to the point that it started to bleed and she could taste the metallic of blood. Cringing a bit she closed her eyes as tears began to fall.

The pain in her lip help distracted her from the agony in her leg, but the taste of blood was enough to turn her stomach and make her vomit all over herself. Pushing her tongue so that it was farther in her mouth she let out a small shuddering breath.

Sirius saw what was going to happen a split second before it did and managed to get out of the way of Ava's revisited supper. Remus used to do that sometimes, too. The transformations were so violent that the body sometimes couldn't cope. He couldn't do much, but he patted her back as she was sick, telling her it would be all right.

He looked away, partially because he had no interest in staring at vomit, and partially because he wanted to give her what privacy he could. That was how he came to notice blood pooling on the ground beside her foot. When she had finished, he used scourgify to clean the sick off of her. He managed to get most of it, though bits still stuck in her hair. If he'd been a little faster, he'd have held it out of the way for her, but there hadn't been enough warning. James did that for Lily once. She was staying over and had too much to drink. The Marauders had nearly always had too much to drink. Lily, unfortunately, couldn't hold onto it as well as the others could and ended up sicking up all over Sirius' copy of A History of Magic before James managed to get her to the loo. Lily was very apologetic about the book when she sobered up, but Sirius didn't mind. Actually, he thought it an improvement.

Sirius gave her a moment to compose herself and conjured a flannel, wetting it with aquamenti. He handed it over. "Here. Use this to wipe your face. It'll make you feel better." Sirius never quite did understand the healing powers of a wet flannel, but they always did wonders for him when he was younger. Even now, when he was sick, he found himself wanting nothing more than a wet flannel on his forehead and a little of Mrs. Potter's chicken soup. He'd have conjured chicken soup for Ava if he could. He was starting to feel a little guilty over having shouted at her. She'd had a horrid night, after all. He could hardly expect her to be at her best. He shouldn't have given her that detention. Though there was still the rather disconcerting lack of planning on her part, and she did sort of ask for the detention, backing him into a corner like that. Sirius would have smiled if he weren't so tense. He never thought he'd see the day when he'd admit that a person was asking for detention.

"All right now?" Sirius asked, looking into Ava's face. She looked exhausted. Sirius couldn't bear to make her walk any farther. "I really think you should lie down, Spencer. If you won't let me levitate you to the castle, at least let me take you to the end of the tunnel. And your leg's bleeding. I'd like to take a look at it before we go on. That is, if you don't mind."

Ava accepted the flannel her teacher gave her and wiped her face with it as he had said. And boy was he right. The cool felt lovely on her face, even though it didn't do much to settle or stomach or take the pain away. But when he offered to let her lay down she nodded. She didn't take it before because she was scared of looking vulnerable, but after sicking up in front of her teacher she was pretty sure she was far past that point now.

Nodding she continued with him forward, the pain in her leg sending sparks up into her spine as they continued on the way. Merlin, how could Professor Black's friend live like this. If she were to ever meet him she would give him the biggest hug in the world....anyone that could continue this way and still have hope and love for mankind was a saint and she held great respect for them. Continued through the dark tunnel she let out another shuddering breath as her stomach began to cramp up uncomfortably. She hadn't had much to eat to begin with and throwing up nothing but what had to be stomach acid was taking it's toll on her.

"Sir?" she whimpered. "Do...you wouldn't happen to have some water? My throat is burning..."

She didn't know how much longer it would take for them to get to the end of the tunnel but she wasn't going to continue any farther. Her leg burned and she needed to sit before she passed out. Lowering herself down to the ground she leaned her back against the tunnel wall and looked up at him.

"I'm sorry."

Sirius conjured a glass and filled it with water. He offered it to Ava without a word. Her leg was still bleeding, and it was clear it was hurting her. But Sirius couldn't decide if he should insist she allow him to look at it or let her continue on. After all, he'd already offered once, and she ignored him. After she was rested, he'd make the suggestion again, and this time he wouldn't phrase it as though she had a choice in the matter. He was slowly learning that trick. If he phrased things as though they were suggestions, students would, as often as not, treat them as though they were suggestions, even when they weren't. But it seemed impolite to just order people around. House elves, sure, but not people. Even young people. Sirius was always being ordered around when he was young, and he despised every second of it. He couldn't wait to grow up so he could be free. It was almost painfully ironic now.

Sirius conjured a glass for himself as well, wishing he could shoot firewhiskey out the end of his wand as easily as water. He sat down across from Ava, his back against the wall. His sleepless night was catching up with him. He always thought that was unfair when he was younger. He'd been up and full of energy all night, running around with his friends, but right about the time he had to go to class, they'd all suddenly crash and want nothing more than to sleep. And sleeping in class, Sirius had discovered, was not nearly so satisfying as sleeping in one's own bed. And not least because sleeping in class usually yielded detention. He was thankful all over again that it was a Saturday. Once all of this was settled, he could go straight to bed if he wished, and he was quite sure he would. He drained his glass and watched Ava drink, wishing all over again he could do more for her. Wishing he could do anything for her, really. He was trying to help her, but all he seemed to be doing was cheesing her off and fouling this whole up. He wished he could be one of those people who always knew the right thing to say.

He leaned forward to refill her empty glass, in case she wanted more but was too tired or to embarrassed to ask. "What are you sorry for, Miss Spencer?"

Ava sipped deeply from the glass but had to stop because it was starting to turn her stomach. Setting the glass down she cringed at the pain in her leg once more and looked into her Professor's eyes. Now that he was calmer and she was calmer, they could make eye contact without shouting at one another or ripping the other's face apart.

"Ruining your Saturday, screwing up your weekend, keeping you awake when you look dead on your feet..."

She had a longer list, but her head was starting to hurt and talking was becoming more of a chore than a pleasantry. Closing her eyes briefly she reached down and felt her leg. Her fingers touched the sticky warmth of blood and she cringed. Merlin it was probably infected all to Hell. Madam Pomfrey was going to make her use crutches or walk with a cane.

"Can...can you help me with my leg?" she whimpered. "It burns."

She knew that wasn't being to specific as to where the pain was coming from, but at this point she really could not pinpoint the exact area of agony, she only knew that it was slowly driving her to the point of madness.

"You don't have to..." Ava said with a shake of her head. "I mean, I can probably wait till we get to the hospital wing."

Sirius let out a tiny sigh. He'd been sure she was going to apologize for her attitude. For shouting at him. Perhaps even for her histrionic display. None of the things she had just apologized for were things she had any need to apologize for.

"Don't worry about it. I keep telling you. That's what I'm here for. That's what all the professors are here for. And of course I'll see to your leg. I meant it before, when I said I thought I should take a look at it." He pulled her trouser leg up as gently as he could and winced when he saw the cut. It was deep and long and bleeding freely. The skin around it was dirty, but beneath the dirt, he could see that it was red and inflamed. He could clean it and heal it, but he couldn't do much with the infection. She'd need a potion for that. "Merlin's beard, Ava!"

Sirius didn't even notice his slip, so concerned was he with the cut. He was trying to get into the habit of calling students by their last names, but he hated it. It seemed so impersonal. And he could never remember to call Harry and his friends properly in class. How in the world was a person supposed to think to call his own godson "Potter"? More than once, he'd thought that perhaps he'd just ignore protocol and call everyone by their first names.

"Hold still. I'll have to clean it. I'm terribly sorry about this. Scourgify." He winced in sympathy. He knew that had to hurt. As soon as he was done, he healed it as quickly and as thoroughly as it could. The skin knitted together, though the evidence of budding infection did not go away.

"You know, Madam Pomfrey's going to thump you when she sees this. Why in the world didn't you say anything before now?"

The bubbles and soaped surged through her leg and Ava screamed. She hadn't even been given time to prepare and the pain was all too much to bear. She grabbed his free arm and squeezed it while he made short work of her leg. Tears rolled down her face followed by several beads of sweat as her body tried to handle the stress she was being put through. Closing her eyes she took several deep calming breaths, not willing herself to vomit a second time in front of her teacher.

"I...I..." she swallowed. "Ha-hadn't noticed...my...my back had hurt more at the time..."

She was being completely sincere that time. There were many times when she would find cuts and bruises all over her body and still remain incredulous as to how the Hell they had gotten there in the first place. She hoped her Professor believed her and wouldn't start yelling again for her irresponsibility, she truly had not noticed it before.

"Oh...God..." she whimpered. "It hurts..."

Looking away from him she began sobbing softly, knowing that her tears made her Professor uncomfortable. Sniffling a bit she swiped at the salty droplets that lingered on her cheeks.

"So-sorry..." she sniffled. "I...I really...didn't notice sir....I...I promise."

"It's all right," Sirius said soothingly. "I know how it is. Madam Pomfrey used to find random cuts and bruises on my friend, and he'd have no idea how he hadn't noticed them before." The same thing had happened to Sirius a few times after a night of running around with Remus, although he didn't have the benefit of proper healing, seeing as no one was supposed to know about Padfoot. "Madam Pomfrey will find everything." Sirius detached Ava's hand from his arm. He was quite sure he'd have finger-shaped bruises where she gripped him. He wasn't overly concerned, though. A bruise salve would take care of it easily enough. And he was far more worried about Ava at the moment. She looked as though she were getting sicker by the minute.

"Here." Sirius took the flannel out of her hands and dabbed at her forehead. Even through the wet cloth, he could feel that she was feverish. From the infection, no doubt. He felt her cheek with the back of his hand. Yes. Burning up. "I don't want you walking anymore. You're riding the rest of the way, and I don't want to hear any arguments. If you're worried about people seeing you, I'll put you under a disillusionment charm when we get outside." He conjured a stretcher on the ground in front of her. "Climb on, Miss Spencer. I'll levitate you to the castle. There's no more time to waste."

Ava knew that look, it was a look her father gave her every time she got ill. Her infection must have spread and was causing her body to go into a fevered state. Closing her eyes she crawled onto the stretcher, no longer able or willing to care who saw her. She knew that her Professor would keep them from asking questions and with him being Sirius Black and all she was sure that he would know all of the secret passages into the castle up to the hospital wing.

Shivering a bit on the stretcher because she had a chill that seemed to linger on her spine she looked up at him with glassy eyes. She hoped he wouldn't just drop her off and leave her in the hospital all by her lonesome. She didn't fancy being all alone after this ordeal. Of course she knew her Professor had a life of his own, and no doubt wanted to sleep, but she was sure he would understand if she valued his company.

"This sucks sir," she said weakly. "As if being a werewolf isn't bad enough, I'm going to be stuck with a fever as well...fan-bloody-tastic."

Ava smiled weakly, hoping to help her Professor relax a bit as well...and hopefully get them back to the point where they could have another light conversation. Whimpering a bit she went down to reach for her leg, almost to rub the swollen patch of skin that was there. However she refrained and closed her eyes. Merlin...if this wasn't Hell she couldn't wait to get there for a vacation.

"I feel ill, sir..." she whimpered.

"Shhh now," Sirius said softly. "I know you feel ill. Just lie back and close your eyes. I'm going to get you to the hospital wing as quickly as I can."

Sirius conjured a bucket for her. "If you're going to sick up, use this, and here." He conjured a blanket for her in hopes that she'd stop shivering. "That should help you stay at least a little bit warmer."

He kicked himself, wondering what he'd been thinking letting her waste so much time and energy arguing with him. He should have shut that down much earlier than he did. If he were any sort of teacher, he would have, only he didn't want to be the sort of teacher students were afraid of, or whom they felt they had to always be stodgy and proper and guarded around. He wanted to be the sort of teacher who encouraged students to speak their minds. Within reason, of course.

Sirius levitated the stretcher and wet the flannel once more. He laid it across her forehead and began directing the stretcher down the earthen tunnel. They could move much more quickly this way. Sirius hated to think what Madam Pomfrey would say when she saw the state Ava was in. Perhaps he wouldn't have to tell Snape. Perhaps she'd do it for him. Probably not. She tended to keep her questions and comments to herself and was notoriously tight-lipped. It was a good thing, too; otherwise students wouldn't be so willing to go to her with the injuries they got doing things they shouldn't have been. The Marauders found themselves thankful for her discretion on more than one occasion.

Unless Ava agreed to one of his other solutions - or, better yet, came up with one on her own that she could live with - Sirius couldn't see any way around going to Snape, or Smyth at the very least. She appeared to prefer Snape to Smyth, which Sirius simply couldn't understand - unless she was just saying that in hopes that Sirius would drop the matter entirely in lieu of taking such drastic action. Hauling a student to the headmaster was no small thing, after all. Especially not without speaking to her head of house first. Usually that was the first stop in all disciplinary matters.

Although Sirius supposed this wasn't exactly a simple disciplinary matter. No, it was much more complicated than that. Sirius found himself wishing, about the time they reached the door of the tunnel, that he had any sort of gift whatsoever in Divination so that he could know which choice was the right one. The last thing he wanted was to make Ava's situation more difficult than it already was, but neither could he just stand back and let her self-destruct - and possibly take a few others along with her.

"We're at the willow. We'll be in the hospital wing very soon. Hold still. I'm putting you under a disillusionment charm so no one will see you when we pass the Great Hall." Sirius cast the charm and shivered. He always hated the cold, clammy feeling of disillusionment charms. Still, it was often better than the alternative. He looked at Ava to ensure she was properly invisible. She was. He opened the door and sent the stretcher through it before stepping out into the blinding sunlight.